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Yesterday I had the opportunity to conduct a True Love Waits seminar at Philippine Normal University. 

I wish I had a picture or two of the event, but I forgot to bring my camera.  Thanks to the OSACS department for inviting me, and special thanks to the students for coming and listening!  Be sure to listen to the next radio show/podcast.  Be sure to contact us if you are interested in Bible study. 

Following Jesus has been such an adventure. He has continued to transform me in spite of myself. I’ve previously written about how He is teaching me not to be afraid of failure (see: Righteous Risks).

There’s something else the Lord is removing from my life: my people-pleasing tendencies.

People-pleasing is a soul killer. It erodes your courage, dampens your enthusiasm, and causes you to live a tepid, half-speed kind of life.

How do I know the people-pleasing attitude is not from God? Let’s look at a passage from the Gospel of Luke.

Even the tax collectors (the lowest of the low) were responding to Jesus’ message, but the “Pharisees and experts in religious law” just wouldn’t go along. They rejected John the Baptist’s message, and they criticized Jesus for spending time with sinful people. Here’s Jesus’ response:

“To what can I compare the people of this generation?” Jesus asked. “How can I describe them? They are like children playing a game in the public square. They complain to their friends,

‘We played wedding songs
  and you didn’t dance,
so we played funeral songs,
  and you didn’t weep.’


For John the Baptist didn’t spend his time eating bread or drinking wine, and you say, ‘He’s possessed by a demon.’ The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!’ But wisdom is shown to be right by the lives of those who follow it.”
-Luke 7:31-35

I’ll explain the historical context here. Children tend to imitate what they see—this is true of both modern and ancient times. The children of Jesus’ day commonly saw weddings and funerals, so they would “play wedding” and “play funeral” (I wonder if they fought over who got to be the corpse).

Jesus compared his critics to children who refused to come out and play—no matter what the game was.

Here’s the point: Jesus could not make everyone happy. Jesus didn’t try to make everyone happy. I cannot really live like Jesus and be a people pleaser.

I should instead just be concerned with pleasing God. Unlike people, God is perfectly clear and consistent in what He expects. One plus God equals a majority—the Old Testament prophets are proof of this.

There is one final issue: I am not Jesus, so I can get it wrong. How can I be open to constructive criticism without falling into the people-pleasing death trap?

The solution for me has been pretty simple. There are a chosen few whose opinion matters greatly to me. They are like Nathan to me, or sometimes like Simon.  I may not always agree with their advice, but I'm always a better man when I listen.  I do listen to others with an open mind, but only this small group has earned my complete respect.


Don't be a people-pleaser. Live your life for an audience of One.

OK, this is completely random.  And I know next to nothing about beauty pageants (my expertise on pageants ranks right up there with my expertise on hair care).

But I thought I'd show a little love to the Philippines and Venus Raj.  Here's something you can do to show support for her:

It's fairly simple:

1.  Go the the Miss Universe Website and register.
2. Activate your account.
3. Click Contestants and choose Philippines.
4. Rate by clicking five stars.

That's it.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program . . .

I've mentioned my recent visit to Central Philippine University in a previous post. This college was started by American Baptist missionaries.  Some of the missionaries serving at CPU and in nearby regions were martyred during World War II.  Monuments were put on campus in their memory.  Below is their story, directly quoted from one of these monuments:

This afternoon I had the privilege of conducting a True Love Waits seminar for about 300 first year students at Emilio Aguinaldo College (EAC).  EAC is actually were I first started doing TLW here in the Philippines.  As you can imagine, this school has a special place in my heart.   Thanks to the guidance and counseling department for inviting me, and thanks to all those students who came an listened.

Note to Students:  If you are interested in doing Bible study please contact me.  I live near the EAC campus and we can arrange to meet.  You can also contact me if you are interested in buying one of my books.

I have returned from a glorious week in IloIlo City. This was my second time to speak at Central Philippine University’s Christ Emphasis Week. I’m so thankful God allowed me to be a part of it once again.

To be honest, I didn’t feel prepared. I was planning to have a quiet, reflective week of prayer and study before coming. It didn’t happen—a typhoon, brownout, and a seminar all kind of made for a hectic week (the week before this trip). But God is so faithful! The Lord told me not to worry—He told me to go and leave the rest up to Him.

Things were a little different this time around. Last year we only used the main auditorium, so students from the different schools/departments kind of took turns coming to the worship events. This year we had three services going simultaneously during worship times (three different venues). All schools were assigned a daily service time and location. We (speakers) rotated among the different locations, usually preaching twice a day. The end results: 1). Most students attended several services in one week. 2) We (speakers) were able to meet students from every department.

What a week! I’m exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. To God be the glory!

Special thanks to:

Central Philippine University (CPU): the chaplains, faculty/staff, and students. You always make me feel so welcome! I wish I had more time to spend with you.  Note to students: I know many of you made life-changing decisions this week.  Please be sure to join a small group Bible study.

Sevier Heights Baptist Church (Tennessee): this church partnered with CPU to help make this event happen. Some of their members/staff came to IloIlo City to be a part of this week’s ministry. This church also paid all of my expenses (airfare, etc) and kept me very well fed the whole time.

University Church (the church@CPU): the one request I made for CEW was that I be allowed to preach again at University Church's vesper service--I love you guys!

Highway Evangelical Church: It was an honor to worship with you Sunday morning. I hope to see all of you again—especially if you plan to give me another one of those huge hamburgers.

Harvestfields Christian School (Lambunao): Thanks for inviting us to your anniversary and introducing us to your students.

I'll try to post a few more pictures over on my Facebook Page.  I didn't take too many this year because I brought my camera but left my memory card here in Manila (yes, I'm a genius).

I just realized something: this is my 1,000th post.  

Yesterday (July 15th) I had the honor of presenting a True Love Waits seminar for the Universidad de Manila College of Education.

This was one of the more "interesting" seminar experiences I've had--a brownout happened within about two minutes of my first attempt to start the seminar.  But we were able to start again in the afternoon once power was restored. 


Special thanks to Ayden (the class president), Dean Patarata, and everyone else who had a role in organizing this event. 


Thank you, students, for coming back in the afternoon (it looked like everyone who as there for the morning mishap came back--all 300+ of you).  This is my second time to speak for the College of Education and you guys are great!

Sorry that we had to rush things a bit but I wanted to be considerate of the next speaker.  Feel free to text or email with any questions.

If anyone took pictures please tag them for my Facebook Fan Page.

Here's an expose done by ABC News on those who claim to be the Messiah. Check out the luxurious lifestyle of Quiboloy--financed by the foolish minions who believe he is the son of God.  

Heed the Bible's warnings or you will suffer the same fate as this false prophet:

“Then if anyone tells you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah,’ or ‘There he is,’ don’t believe it.  For false messiahs and false prophets will rise up and perform great signs and wonders so as to deceive, if possible, even God’s chosen ones. See, I have warned you about this ahead of time.

“So if someone tells you, ‘Look, the Messiah is out in the desert,’ don’t bother to go and look. Or, ‘Look, he is hiding here,’ don’t believe it!  For as the lightning flashes in the east and shines to the west, so it will be when the Son of Man comes.  Just as the gathering of vultures shows there is a carcass nearby, so these signs indicate that the end is near.

-Matthew 24:23-28

Let God’s curse fall on anyone, including us or even an angel from heaven, who preaches a different kind of Good News than the one we preached to you. I say again what we have said before: If anyone preaches any other Good News than the one you welcomed, let that person be cursed.

-Galatians 1:8-9

Random thoughts on my eight year anniversary in the Philippines.

Eight years ago I stepped off an airplane into the most amazing chapter of my life.  I still remember my first night here. It was my first time ever to venture outside of my own country. The sights and sounds were new, fresh, and vivid. I was in a different world.

Much has changed since then.

My original barkada was a mixture of young American missionaries and Filipino church mates (we called ourselves the “pacutes”). Many of them are not even in the Philippines anymore (including the Filipinos).

My mentors have also left. They are the ones who taught me how to live and minister in a cross-cultural context.

Ministry has also changed. Some of my old alliances corroded and new (healthier) partnerships have taken their place. God has blessed me with opportunities I never would have dreamed of eight years ago.

The Philippines still manages to surprise me every once in a while, but life here seems much more mundane and familiar. Such is the case when a place becomes home.

One thing hasn’t changed: God is 100% faithful! I can’t thank Him enough for the past eight years.

This morning, O Lord, I praise You for all the past—so wayward on my part, so wonderful and gracious and longsuffering and forgiving and tender and inspiring on Yours.
–Oswald Chambers

My blog readers are the best!  I probably never would have become an author without you.  I asked you if I should publish back in 2007, and your words of encouragement gave me that extra push to get started. 

I also want to thank all of you for sharing articles from my blog on your Facebook and Twitter accounts.  It really helps to get the word out.  Please keep it up!

Here's all you have to do:

1.  Click your favorite article here on the blog.

2. Put your cursor on the share/save button at the bottom of the article or use the Facebook share button at the top of the article.

3. Choose the social networking site you want to post the link on (Twitter, Facebook, etc).

That's it--the link will go up and you'll be sharing a positive message with all of your contacts.   It'll only take a second, so you'll still have plenty of time for more important things, like Farmville.  :)

This has been a sad week.  Two very special people have passed away suddenly.   Here's my humble salute to two heroes of the faith:

Pastor June Apura was one of my favorite preachers.   His passion for the gospel was contagious and he was a joy to be around.   Hanging around him was kind of like getting a spiritual B12 shot. 

I heard the name "Tita" Doc Frondoza long before I met her in person.  She worked hand-in-hand with my mentors in the Joy Student Center (Intramuros).  God only knows how many college students have been reached through her ministry.

Both of these people fought the good fight and have finished their race (2 Timothy 4:7).  They will be missed, but their legacy lives on.

Precious in the sight of the LORD
   is the death of his saints.
-Psalm 116:15

Hey guys,

We'll be having Youth Gig this Friday at 6:00 p.m.

Feel free to join us at the Youth Life Student Center, located at Morayta across from FEU (right next to McDonald's).

This week we have a guest speaker who will be talking about effective study habits.

Want to tell your friends?  Just use the share/save button below and post this to your Facebook wall.

Time for me to review a fantastic book: No More Christian Nice Guy, by Paul Coughlin.

I'd like to start this review by explaining why this book was so meaningful to me.  Some guys tend to be brash, impulsive and arrogant.  But my character flaws have always leaned towards the other end of the spectrum (I'm capable of expressing the before-mentioned traits, but they are not what have caused me the most trouble in my life).  As I've mentioned before, I'm an introvert--a shy type (see: Confessions of a Frightened Public Speaker).   This timid nature used to get the best of me: I feared rejection and failure. I avoided confrontation.  I was too quick to apologize.  I was loyal to a fault--even to those who clearly hadn't earned it.  In short, I'm a "recovering Christian nice guy" (as Coughlin would put it). 

Needless to say, I could relate to this book.  I really wish something like this had been around years ago--maybe I would have learned some hard lessons sooner than I did.

So let's get to the book's content.  I'll try to summarize some of Coughlin's points, and in come cases, just quote him directly (note: I'm not necessarily following the order of the book here):

Jesus:

Yes, Jesus had a gentle sensitive side.  But he was also rugged, passionate, sarcastic, shrewd, irreverent, confrontational, and fearless.  Those who tried to trap him with questions were quickly embarrassed.  Thieves who peddled religion for profit ended up at the wrong side of a whip (we assume Jesus never would have actually touched anyone with that whip, but those in the temple sure didn't).  Not everyone who met Jesus walked away thinking "what a nice man."

This "manly" side of Jesus, Coughlin argues, has been neglected in preaching and teaching.  The result is the "Christian Nice Guy (CNG)"--a man who thinks there's something spiritual about being a doormat.   Balanced teaching about the Person of Christ would inspire men to live more boldly:

It's hell being a Christian Nice Guy until you embrace Christ's tough, courageous, protective, assertive personality, which invigorates real male sensibilities.

Love and Relationships:

Christian nice guys usually end up having a really hard time in matters of the heart.  They assume that being "nice" will attract the right girl.  But this isn't how it usually works out.  The CNG just doesn't tend to attract women because he lacks the passion, drive, and confidence that women are drawn to (the story of my teenage life):

Because Christian men are encouraged to be compliant, malleable, and without relational requirements, they often lack the ethos and charisma that attract a woman's heart.

The teachings of the church are not always helpful when it comes to dating:

The church's thoughts on dating aren't usually clear or well articulated, but often it seems that because this cultural ritual is fraught with potential difficulties, the church holds that Christians are better off just avoiding it.

. . . I'm concerned by the moves within some Christian circles to abolish all forms of dating. While it's an imperfect arrangement, in what better way are we to obtain greater understanding and appreciation for the gender so unique and so different from our own?

Marriage:

The Bible does call men to be servant leaders.  But this point can (and does) get over-emphasized, causing men to have unfulfilled desires in their marriage:

. . . no man in his right mind gets married solely to serve; he has wishes, needs, and desires as well.  The church has told him this is selfish and sinful; psychologically unhealthy women latch on to this sweet-sounding nonsense, using it against their husbands, and Christian Nice Guys hide behind it also.  There is a part of them that doesn't think they would require or ask for anything.  

Work/Career:

The GNC often settles for less that what he deserves in terms of pay and promotion.  He doesn't choose his battles carefully (if he ever chooses to stand his ground in the first place).  He does this under the misguided notion of Christian humility.  He may secretly resent his employer, but fear keeps him from seeking a better job (or starting his own business).

 The fact is, people exploit a Christian Nice Guy's naivete and passivity.

Abuse:

The author discloses being abused as a child by his mother.  I could not relate to this--I had a pretty happy childhood.  But it is a very  important part of the book.  Some men are severely wounded in their childhood years, and these wounds cause them to be CNG's:

Abused people believe that something is deeply wrong with them, not because they are sinners, but because they are defective.  They become ashamed of themselves as humans, not because they fail, but because they exist.  Accordingly, troubled Nice Guys must learn to understand the difference between guilt and shame.

Summing it Up:

There's no need for me to quote Coughlin on every chapter or aspect of life.  I think I he sums up the CNG motto with this statement: "If I live small, my troubles will be few."  If this has been your motto (consciously or unconsciously), go out and get a copy of this book.  I think you'll be empowered to live the life God intended for you.

One Final Note:

I'm sure some would complain that No More Christian Nice Guy isn't "balanced."  Fair enough: Some men need to learn other lessons from the Great Teacher (like how to be more humble and patient).  But I don't think a book calling for correction can always be "balanced," and I'm glad this author didn't water down his message. 

To all my friends in Iloilo City:  I'll be coming back to Central Philippine University for this year's Christ Emphasis Week.  I'll be in town from July 17th to July 23rd.

Note:  My first speaking gig will be at University Church on July 18th--the vesper service.  I'll be speaking about love life issues, so be sure to come.

Please pray for me as I begin to prepare the messages I'll be preaching.

This has been a bittersweet week for me (and for many of my friends).   My former mentors, who we affectionately call "Bossing" and "Mom Shirley," have left the Philippines. 

I met them about 8 years ago when I first arrived in Manila.  They are one of the main reasons I was able to so quickly adapt to the Filipino culture--they taught me and showed me how.

I've spent less time with them over the past few years.  Their responsibilities changed, and I needed to start making decisions for myself (which they encouraged).  But I always knew who to turn to when I had a difficult choice to make and needed some advice.

Bossing and Mom Shirley, you'll be greatly missed.  Thank you for answering the call.