I often warn my students about the
emotional consequences of premarital sex: heartbreak, shame, guilt, loss of self-respect, and the list goes on.
I’m beginning to think
regret is more severe than all of the above.
“I wish I had waited.”
I have lost count of how many times I’ve heard this. Sometimes it comes from a student who realizes she’s given everything to an all too temporary relationship. But I’ve even heard it from Christian couples that end up happily married after falling into sexual sin. The toxic thoughts of regret can linger for years.
The Bible warns of this in the Book of Hebrews:
See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears.
–Hebrews 12:16-17
What if asked you to trade your inheritance for a two-piece chicken meal? This is essentially what Esau did. This verse refers back to the story of Jacob and Esau (Genesis 25 and 27). For those not so familiar with it, I’ll give you a summarized version:
Jacob and Esau were twin brothers. Esau was the firstborn, so the birthright (the better share of the inheritance) was supposed to be his. But Jacob plotted to steal this birthright from his brother. One day Esau came home, famished from a day of hunting. Jacob offered a bowl of stew if only Esau would give him his birthright.
Esau agreed. He rationalized this by saying his birthright was no good if he died of starvation—can anyone say
maarte (overly dramatic)?
Esau paid dearly for his shortsighted oath. Jacob stole Esau’s birthright. It was given to Jacob, and this act could not be undone. Jacob, not Esau, became Israel—father of the twelve tribes.
The writer of Hebrews saw this story as an ideal analogy for sexual immorality. Virginity is a
one-time gift that cannot be restored once given. Sexual intimacy creates a
one-flesh bond that can never be obliterated.
It is foolish to trade the long-term benefits of purity for a few moments of pleasure.
Choose purity, not regrets.
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